Just imagine with me for a minute. Imagine that
you’re on a path, in the pitch-black darkness of night. You can’t see an inch
in front of your face. The stars are hidden by dark storm clouds, and there is
no moon in the sky. You have no idea what is in front of you on the path. There
could be any number of dangers: ditches, wild animals, or even a cliff. You’re
trapped, and feel helpless. How will you get where you need to be?
Suddenly, you hear a voice further up the path. The
voice tells you to move forward, to trust it. Your voice shakes as you ask,
“But what if it’s dangerous? What if I don’t like what I find up ahead?” The
voice responds, “I know what is ahead of you. Trust me. There may be dangers,
but I will help you over them. If there is a cliff, I will catch you. If there
are wild animals, I will rescue you. If you have faith, you will end up where
you need to be.”
What do you do? Do you place your faith in the voice
and follow it into the dark unknown, or you do you trust yourself and stay
where you are?
For some of you, the choice is obvious. But for
others, it may not be so clear. After all, it would be insane to travel blindly
down a road teeming with danger
Then again, that is where faith comes in.
If you take the time to read through Hebrews 11, a
passage sometimes referred to as the “Hall of Faith,” you will find dozens of
examples of faith-filled people. Like us, they had a dark path to walk down,
and that dark path was riddled with the most insane of circumstances. For
instance, God instructed Noah to build a boat in order to protect the chosen
few from a Flood, an event nobody had ever heard of before or could even
imagine was possible. Abraham left the safety of his home to venture into the
vast, uncomfortable and unsafe world to find a promised land. He also was
willing to sacrifice what he cared about most, his only son, because that is
what God told him to do.
Moses forsook his comfortable life and position of
power to follow God, and led the Israelites through giant walls of water.
Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah (better known as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego)
were thrown into a fiery furnace in order to follow the path God had set before
them. Later, thousands of people were killed, tortured, and persecuted because
they committed heresy by proclaiming that a man, the Son of God, had risen from
the dead. How crazy is that? These paths were far from safe and comfortable,
and I’m sure those who witnessed the events were thought to be a little off
their rockers.
These "heroes of the faith" may have even
questioned their paths a few times. We know that Moses did. When God instructed
him to speak to Pharaoh about the plight of the children of Israel, Moses
complained: “Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you
have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and tongue” (Exodus 4:10).
He wasn't great at speaking, so he questioned why God was making him do it in
such an important way.
In my own life, I have questioned and doubted the
path set before my feet; the path, of course, being the direction of my life.
For years, people asked me what all young people are asked: “What are you going
to do when you grow up?” And for years, the answer was somewhat vague and in
flux. Like most children, I changed my chosen profession many times over the
years. One day I wanted to be a ballerina, the next a veterinarian. In third
grade, I declared that I wanted to be an author, and for “Career Day” I brought
in pencils and paper and my favorite book, Poppleton the Pig. When I realized
that authors are normally poor and penniless, I changed my mind and settled on
being a teacher (although if I really wanted money I should have gone with
something completely different!). I eventually went to college for English
education, and as I began the program, I was confident. I knew that there were
things I would have to overcome in order to reach my goal of becoming a teacher
– my fear of speaking in front of others, for instance – but I was generally
sure of myself. I told myself, “This is where God wants me to be! This is where
I can help people the most!” and I didn’t question any of it.
But as I got deeper into the program, observing
veteran teachers and learning all of the aspects that the profession requires,
doubts and insecurities began to creep in. There was no way that I, the quiet
and anxious person that I was, could wrangle an entire group of teenagers; nor
was I as effective at communicating as I needed to be to compete with the
teachers that I saw. The situation wasn’t helped when one of the teachers I was
observing actually told me that I shouldn’t become a teacher. She told me that
because I was reserved and quiet, I “obviously” didn’t care about the students.
Those words broke me. I wanted to be a good teacher,
and be of help to students – and if I couldn’t do that, then I should just get
out altogether. With a shattered confidence and a broken heart, I switched my
major and began searching for other schools to attend where I could get a
degree in creative writing.
I was miserable and going nowhere. I didn’t enjoy
any of my new classes, and missed the literature courses I would have been
attending if I hadn’t changed majors. Disappointingly, no other schools would
accept Piedmont’s credits, meaning that if I changed schools I would have to
start all over. I felt like I was being blocked on all sides, and the only door
open was the one leading to the path I wanted to avoid.
After a conversation with my professors and best
friend – more like a tearfest with a little bit of talking – I decided to
switch back to English Education. It was obvious that that was where I needed
to be, despite the uninformed opinion of a certain teacher. My professors
encouraged me, and told me that they saw potential for me as a teacher. I was
unsure and scared, and seriously questioning why God was making me walk down
this path. It wasn’t as crazy a situation as walking through the Red Sea or
circling the walls of Jericho with trumpets, but it seemed insane to me that He
would want me, of all people, to become a teacher. I actually asked Him
multiple times why on earth He was making me do this. However, I was forced to
trust that God would help me, in spite of my fears and failings. I clung
desperately to verses like Joshua 1:9 (“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and
courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God
is with you wherever you go.”). If God wanted me to get through, then He would get
me through.
The next couple of years were a mixture of building
confidence and building anxiety, as I went through my classes, and faced
struggles, breakdowns, and failed relationships, all of which I felt were
leading towards a destiny that I couldn’t see.
The biggest hurdle, without a doubt, was the daily fight to overcome the
fear that threatened to overwhelm me. I had other people high up in the ranks
of teacher-dom question my ability to become an educator. But thanks to some
advice from my wise mother, I just took each day one at a time, placing each
into the hands of a God who could see farther than I possible could. And day by
day, I made it through student teaching, through graduation, and out into the
real world.
Towards the end of my college career, I was asked
that ever-present question many times: “What are you planning to do when you
graduate?” Each and every time, I had to answer, “I have no idea.” I really had
no clue. The future was a void to me, and it was a little frustrating. I had expected
the dark path in front of me to be lit by this point, but it seemed that
nothing was happening. I was still stumbling forward in the dark. Eventually I
realized that just as I had trusted God to get me through college, He would get
me through the real world. I just had to steel myself against the darkness, and
have faith.
What happened next was wildly beyond anything my
imagination could conjure. Shortly before graduation, I had been informed of a
school in China that needed an English teacher. I knew that some missionaries
from my church, the Henleys, had also been telling me about a school in China.
I figured, “Why not? I’m young, I’m single and free as the wind, and I could
afford to spend a year in China.” Almost not daring to hope, I contacted the
school I had been told about (it turned out that Piedmont and the Henleys had
been convincing me to check out the same school all along), and sent in an
application and my resume. It seemed as if the next day, I was being
interviewed via Skype, and almost immediately was offered a teaching contract.
I couldn’t believe it.
I was going to teach in China!
At that moment, it was like I could look back and
see how all of my life had been leading to that moment. All of my major
changes, all of the discouragement that had only served to make me stronger,
the trust that I had placed in God despite everything else in my life screaming
at me to choose a different way – it had all been for a purpose. Just like Noah
found safety and life, Moses found his purpose, and Abraham found the Promise
of God, I had finally found what I needed to do. And sure, it may seem small in
the bigger scheme of things, but to me it seems huge. I know that the future
will hold more dark paths, with more unknown dangers and hardships, but the
thoughts holds less fear for me now, because I know that my God is absolutely
trustworthy.
Some of you may be walking down your own dark paths
even as I speak. You may be facing the loss of a loved one, or you may be
confused as to what the future holds, or you may be wondering why God brought a
certain hardship into your life. The people around you may begin to question
why you are doing something, and you may be tempted to listen to their voices.
But these are the times when you need to trust God. Even if the way seems dark,
or dangerous, or fear-filled; if the decision to move forward feels difficult
or scary, or filled with pit-falls, trust Him. Keep moving forward. If He asks
you to wait, or fall, then do it. God will catch you. God will guide you. He
cares for you more than he cares for the sparrows that fall (Matthew 10:29). He
will give you strength when you need it. As it says in Isaiah, “He gives power
to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths
shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait
for [trust in] the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with
wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not
faint” (Is. 40:29-31). And as long as your heartfelt desire is for His glory
and your faith is placed in Him alone, you will wind up exactly where you need
to be.
